A boy and his ocean

Merry Christmas!

On the Road Again

We were very lucky this year to have neighbors who were also driving east for the holidays, so we got a lift all the way to Amherst. Where, in addition to being greeted by ADORABLE YOUNG CHILDREN, we were picking up the bestest Christmas present - a new-to-us car.

The timing couldn't be better. (Okay, it could have by about 6 weeks - the latest round of repairs - but realistically speaking, the timing couldn't be better.) The much-loved Civic is showing its age. But we can't afford to buy a car. However, my mom can't really drive anymore, so they no longer need two cars and offered hers to us. The only challenge was getting to Amherst to pick up the car, so again - having a lift all the way to Massachusetts was such a boon.

The one downside to this travel arrangement is that since our generous drivers wanted to do the drive all in one day (we generally stop in Rochester and spend the night at my brother's), by the time we hit the Mass. border, it was dark. Couldn't see my hills!

OTOH, they like showtunes and scifi so we managed to remain entertained for the 13 hours in the car (stopping only for gas and bathrooms and customs).

But! We still managed to arrive before the children were in bed, so I got my squeezy hugs :) Lots and lots of squeezy hugs. (Until Kyp arrived, that is. At which point I was promptly discarded in favor of doggie chasing.)

'Tis the Season to Bake Cookies

After Christmas Observed₁ with my family in Amherst (plus a brief stop for the irresistible popovers), we drove to the north shore to spend a couple of days with the niecephews. On Monday, Arthur's parents came over and rolled out/cut/decorated sugar cookies with the kids. Neecy looooooved dumping colored sugar on everything :) Neffie is already better than I am at using cookie cutters.



We also took Neffie for a quick shopping trip to buy a gift from him and his sister to their parents. According to him, these are the items Mommy and Daddy wanted for Christmas:

• Cheezits
• Oreos
• Spiderman toy
• Stuffed Disney monster

He is the very model of a modern four-year-old, that's for sure.

And then on Christmas Eve day, we made some chocolate chip cookies for Santa. Neffie is now at the age where when he wants to help, he's actually being helpful - no eggshells in the dough ;^) I also pinched off a sample of each of the individual ingredients (except for the raw eggs) so that he could taste them. Flour on its own doesn't taste like much. Baking soda is just salty. But put it all together? And you get magic!

Stalking Santa

This year, Neffie was really into Elf on a Shelf. He loved looking for Freddie every morning. And he's hyper-aware of Santa and loot and Getting All The Toys Ever.

We'd gotten them an inflatable globe. A) Because it's useful to have one, and B) because this year when we were stalking Santa via NORAD, we had a 3D representation to learn about the world as we checked in with Santa's latest known coordinates. There is a looooot of ocean. And he doesn't want to go to Arizona. (I was confused at first; I mean sure, he has the Latin surname, but he's too pale to get pulled over and asked for citizenship papers, so what is he worrying about? But it turns out he remembers a conversation we had over a year ago when I reassured him that the scorpion and tarantula in his icky bug alphabet book weren't in Massachusetts, so he was safe. They were very far away in Arizona. So he wanted to find Arizona on the globe to make sure he didn't go there, because it's scary. Kid has quite a memory, I tells ya'.)

Anyway, we spent some time looking up different places on the globe as Santa made his stops. Watched the NORAD videos. He did wander off to watch television after a while, so while it was a good distraction for quite a while, it wasn't the same obsession as last year.



After helping to quality assure the cookies (wouldn't want to give Santa bad product, because it might result in bad presents!), Arthur and I had enough sugar to dance along to Mary Poppins. Sadly, the cutenesses wouldn't dance with us :( Maybe next year! (However, both children spent the week wandering around singing showtunes - Neecy was singing Tomorrow and Neffie was alternating between Jolly Holiday and  A Spoonful of Sugar. In fact, he was often filking as he went. "It's a jolly holiday with you, Dad." I am so proud!)

I once again abused my special Auntie powers and motivated the kids to help clean up some. We have to pick stuff up off the floor; we don't want Santa to fall down! If Santa trips over toys, he might drop the presents he's carrying and they could break.

Always appeal to a small child's base greed. It works every time.

My, what mighty big teeth you have!

I swear that Neffie had me read Little Red Riding Hood at least once a day. I was the wolf and he was LRRH. (Ob: knitting photo - LRRH cloak I knit for Neecy) We had conversations about what favorite treats should go into the basket for granny.

We also got some puzzles for the kids. Neffie is really good at them, but he gets frustrated easily if it takes longer than he's used to. So a lot of the adult supervision consists of reminding him that this is actually a very hard puzzle and he's gotten a lot of it done already all by himself because he's done such a great job. Just coaching him along to continue, while acknowledging this is a very hard puzzle. It worked - he eventually finished the 100-piece puzzle of Fenway Park. (Although he didn't want advice on organizing the pieces by border vs. interior, etc. He fits pieces together by instinct, but doesn't have a formal process - which is why the larger puzzles are so challenging for him. He needs to learn to translate his instinct into a concerted plan of attack. Which he doesn't want to do, because he hasn't done it before and doesn't see the value in it. *sigh*)

Anyway, thank you to my brother for another fabulous Christmas Eve dinner (mmmm, roast beast...). I hope Santa enjoyed his cookies :) And oh! It was fun going along with Santa to pick up stocking stuffers. I got to play the role of enabler, which is the best.


<----------------  This is what happens when Auntie helps Santa pick up stocking stuffers :)

Merry Christmas!

Now we're in the city proper with Arthur's folks. We're introducing them to our new copy of Power Grid before we disappear to the annual Staxmas and see a bunch of you all at once.

The new car had its own stocking hanging above the woodstove this morning! (The outlaws recently retired their Taurus, so were passing on a bunch of Taurus supplies to us since that's the car we had just picked up. A stocking full of surprises!)

We went for a walk in the Arboretum. It felt VERY good to be back in JP, to be out on a sunny day, and to see hills around. 

New England in Autumn

My Hills! Real Hills!

I combined a trip home for Neecy's birthday with a day in the old office for a small project, so I was actually back for several days. But the extra time also afforded me some flexibility, so when there was some fairly urgent family stuff going on, I was able to rent a car and go to Western Mass. for a day. With perfect weather, in the fall, in New England. (And there may have been some popovers from Judie's in there, too...) And then the drive back east to my brother's new house avoided the Pike, so it was all scenic, all the time.

Just what I needed! I don't like driving in general (one of the reasons Michigan and its car culture disagrees with me), but I love driving along through these hills. I would like to thank Neecy for being so considerate as to have a birthday that means I have an excuse to come home to a New England fall every year.

Weird-ass rental car, though. Definitely don't want to buy a whatever it was.

Speaking of Nourishing the Soul...

For me, it's the mountains. For Arthur, it's the ocean. He had class all week so didn't fly into Boston until Friday afternoon, but as soon as he was off the plane, he headed off to the Harbor with his parents. Another beautiful, sunny, warm, perfect fall day. Thank you, Sim, for the amazing weather!

Big City Adventures

My brother moved to a new house since we were last in town, so the kids got to show me all around. Neffie feels that rooms are what you have to walk through to get to the closets. He also used to run straight for our pantry in J.P., so he loves mini-rooms.

Anyway, I got my great big squeezy hug from Neffie. And Neecy has decided that maybe she'll consider not disliking me sometime maybe. I even got a high-five :) Quite an accomplishment.

The next day was going to be my adventure in the city with Neffie. Since Saturday was going to be all about the birthday girl and her party, Friday was going to be my time with Neffie. We took the big train (he doesn't live on the Red Train anymore); went to the Science Museum and met Arthur's parents, posed with the T-Rex, and discussed how duck boats could ride on the street AND in the water(!); went to the Planetarium and saw the Sesame Street show (very good and age appropriate); and then to the Burdick's in Back Bay where he passed the test and is worthy of being my nephew. He consumed a full cup of hot chocolate (not the dark chocolate; that was for Auntie ;). I think he enjoyed sipping out of the top like Mommy and Daddy sip their coffee. (I still haven't found a suitable soy hot chocolate out here that comes close to Burdick's. Even the Zingerman's was... meh.)

Ursamajor met us at Burdick's, and after we all obtained our hot chocolates, we walked over to Copley Square. Neffie continues to adore Ursamajor, so between the statues, the piano project, and the people watching (it was farmers market day and we bought flowers for Nana), he had a serious case of the giggles.



It will surprise no one that as soon as the train home pulled out of North Station, he fell fast asleep. On the morning ride, we'd passed through the town where Nana grew up, so we talked a little bit about Nana as a little girl, and her family. The lake we could see out our window is where my and Daddy's Auntie brought us ice skating when we were little. Yes, Daddy has an Auntie of his own! Auntie has an Auntie! In fact, our Auntie posted a photo to FB a while ago of Daddy on that lake when he was little - see, here it is. Yes! that was Daddy right there on that lake a long time ago when it was frozen. Neffie said "that's awesome!"


One thing that happened several times throughout the weekend was perfect strangers not only saying hello (he's cute, so that's not out of the ordinary), but all of them able to identify me as the Auntie without me saying anything. I dunno' - was there an "Auntie" sign on my back that I forgot about? Kinda' neat, though, that the auntie-nephew dynamic is recognizable :)

Birthday Girl

I am not afraid to use my Auntie Powers for good. Trying to get the kids to pick up some of their toys, and not making more of a mess after Daddy cleans. At one point I had both kids and Arthur all sweeping together. Muahahahahahaha. I will work it while I can. They'll soon be old enough to catch on.

Neecy loved helping Mama make the party favors. She's also becoming chatty. I figured out a few of her words before we left. ("Cheese" means food in general, for instance.) She was willing to show me patience while I figured out which item she wanted. A complete change from the last time we visited. She was even comfortable enough with me to walk right up and steal dinner off of my plate :)


The new yard is a great space for a party. Lots of kids zipping around. And a puppy - always a popular attraction. Plus pizza, and birthday cake. And presents! Neecy has definitely reached the point where she enjoys presents. (And Neffie has reached the sulky jealous stage. This is why I brought enough pom poms for both of them.)


Note to any Arthurs who may be reading this: I fully support the notion that birthday girls shouldn't have to choose, and can have waffles AND pancakes for breakfast. Hint hint.

The theme of this trip was... babies!!!

A whirlwind trip back to Boston where we squeezed in as many people as possible was exhausting but restorative.

Our party was more than the restaurant could handle, so I apologize for not moving around the table and seeing everyone. My food came really, really late and I was starving. But thank you to everyone who came.


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It seems like everyone's had a baby since we left. It's a very different social circle to return to. OTOH, lots of teeny weeny baby toes!

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One of the great things about Boston is that it is so walkable. And the weather was perfect spring weather. So spending a couple of days walking around to meet people and do things was great for feeling connected again. Normal, comfortable, sunny, walkable.


Of course, my errand route brought me past the Marathon memorials. For some reason, it made it feel less real to me.

Watching everything on television was surreal and horrifying, but I could recognize everywhere the news trucks were. I used to work over there; that's where I eat blue corn pancakes; THAT SHOOTING IS AT ARTHUR'S OLD BUILDING PLEASE TELL ME HIS TEAMMATES ARE SAFE. Everything felt so close and immediate and so impossibly far away and lonely at the same time.

Walking around town again and speaking with locals made it feel real. But looking at the memorials... they had become a tourist destination. People who had no connection to the city, or the victims, coming by to take photos. It wrenched me out of the present and made it feel like a fictional television show.

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I also had a great time with the niecephews. Running around with them returns that sense of normalcy. Like we never left. Except for those moments when it's obvious how much they've grown, and that we've missed it.

The birthday boy seemed very ready to turn four, especially as he enjoyed reading and then eating the letters of his name off the cake. And the toddler has decided maybe it's okay not to cry every time she sees me. It also helps to show up with a bag of tulle for hours of entertainment.

This is our last time seeing them in this house. They're moving next week. Change, change, change.

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But it was good to see everyone, and enjoy several days of perfect spring weather, and run around with the kids. Ready to tackle the summer back in Michigan now. Plus, we have guests arriving tomorrow. And motss.con next month. So we are importing enough friends so we feel settled.

Re-entry is hard.

It was strange returning to Ann Arbor after two weeks back in Boston. It was strange being back in Boston after several months in Ann Arbor.


Neither place felt like home. Boston certainly felt familiar, and there were times when it felt like we'd never moved and things hadn't changed (most noticeably when chasing small niecephews around) and if we weren't careful, we'd find ourselves driving "home" to JP on autopilot.


But it's not truly home anymore. I still refer to it as "home," but there was nowhere that felt like mine. The apartment we lived in and personalized for 9 years is already a distant memory. Everything felt temporary.


It's still easy to fall into rhythms and routines, though. To know where everything is, to hop on and off the T without paying attention...


One moment of happiness was getting on the T and seeing a train full of diversity. Ann Arbor has been feeling so relentlessly white that just seeing a variety of faces again felt good. Felt comfortable.


We had a great time, though. Saw lots of you, made quick stops to our favorite places (man, did I need a Burdick's fix!), played some great new-to-us games, ate great food, and had plenty of time spoiling the niecephews. (Making Christmas cookies with the kids and the outlaws was a blast - a boisterous, sugar-filled blast. And my favorite moment is still the look of panic when we refreshed the NORAD Santa tracker (which Neffie immediately fell in love with) and told Neffie that Santa was crossing the ocean and would be in Boston soon. Never seen the kid run that fast before. In bed, lights out, no story, no nuthin' - just panic that Santa would skip him because he was still up. Talk about motivation! (And also, the Santa tracker is a wonderful introduction to geography. Highly recommended.))

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We stocked up on some hard-to-find items while we were in Boston. I now have a variety of beans in my larder again! And I got to see my mountains, and Arthur got to see the ocean, and all was well with the world.

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The drive east was long (weather; sheeting rain but luckily we were just ahead of the snow the whole way), but we were looking forward to being back in Boston and it didn't feel too bad. Also, it felt really, really good to cross back into Massachusetts and say "home of senator-elect Elizabeth Warren!".


Driving west was much more eventful, and felt much longer. Shortly after crossing into New York, our brakes died. Thankfully they gave out when we were in the parking lot at a rest stop (to switch drivers) and not 5 minutes sooner or 5 minutes later, going full speed on the Thruway in the snow. It's terrifying to think what would have happened had we not stopped right at that time.


So we had a detour while waiting for a tow truck and to have the brake line repaired. We arrived in Rochester late, cold, and tired. Felt bad about not having much time to actually visit with the hosting brother either direction. But not as bad as if our brakes had snapped whilst driving 75mph.


But the drive back felt longer anyway, even though the second day was actually the shortest. When we first made the drive in August, it was with a sense of adventure. When we headed east last month, it was with anticipation to see people and do things and take a break. But heading back here last week, driving for two days, just felt exhausting.


And when we arrived, it felt strange. The apartment felt like a hotel, not like home. It was vaguely familiar, but it wasn't comfortable. After only 2 weeks away. It's taking time to get back into the swing of things and remind myself that I live here.


Feeling adrift. Not sure how to fix it.

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However, my brother is arriving soon with a very special package in tow. A weekend with the cute chaos leaving destruction in his wake will either make this place finally feel warm and homelike, or feel bereft and empty when he's left. We'll see. It could be what we need to finally feel grounded. Sharing our new life helps make it real.