For all our gripes and grumbles, Facebook is a wonderful thing. It's a way of still feeling connected to people back home even though we don't see them for months at a time.
While that's true of the Internet in general, sometimes it really is the mundane day-to-day posts on Facebook that are the most comforting. These are the posts people scoff at and dismiss as silly, but for a homesick person far away? They are the warm routine of a familiar life. Crazy Boston drivers; snow falling over the Charles; a disappointing baseball season... these are all, simply, Home.
What's great about Facebook/Twitter/LJ etc. is that these were ways we were keeping in regular touch with people before the move. With the craziness of work, and friends having babies, and just life in general being hectic for everyone, we rarely saw most people in person more than every couple of months. But with LJ and social media, we were in frequent contact. I know that so-and-so has a new job, or that cute-toddler is now walking, or that so-and-so is sick and could use a chicken soup drop-off. It's not a replacement for in-person communication, but it suffices for the time between in-person get togethers. And so many of our friends are long distance to begin with; phone and email were already the primary form of contact.
And so this move is less isolating than it would have been, say, 10 years ago. Sure, 10 years ago there was email, but one of the things I like about social media is that it is reminiscent of Usenet - group conversations. I can read a conversation, or participate, or start one of my own. Especially with blog spaces, it feels like I can write something once and post it once, instead of having a dozen independent email conversations with a dozen different people about the same thing.
It's not that I don't miss people. But I know I'll be home for Christmas, and see people then. And there is the good old-fashioned telephone when we need to hear someone's voice.
What's been difficult is adapting to the new reality with people with whom social media hasn't been a part of our regular routine. It's similar to the layoffs last year - seeing someone every day for years, and then bam, they're not there, is really difficult. Tossing a showtune over the wall, and catching its return. Baked goods at a weekly team meeting which always involved lots of laughter. Plotting evil April Fool's Day pranks for the website that we were always too nice to actually make. The abrupt departure of this team and our interactions was really painful.
This move wasn't abrupt in the same way, but it is similar in that I'm adapting to new ways to communicate with some people. Neffie and Neecey, for instance. Obviously they are not on Facebook (yet - just give FB time to find a way to safely monetize children!). And while their parents post cute photos that I eagerly "like" and smile at, it's not the same as playing hide and seek or dancing to the Muppets.
But we're starting to Skype with Neffie, and I'm finding it helps immensely. It's certainly not the same, but having them dial in while we're singing happy birthday to Arthur feels like maybe we're not missing everything. (Granted, it also helps that Neffie is now old enough to talk, even if he's still shy over Skype. His little Mahna Mahna performances crack us up.)
I've used phone and Facebook to catch up with former cow orkers. Again, people that I sat with every day for years - so nice to just chat once in a while. Or exchange political humor with my old boss. It's a way of feeling normal. Like I'll see her next week.
One of the other transitions was the absence of YankeeFan. Right before we left, he had to leave the country unexpectedly. So he was offline for over a month. And I was so used to our random text messaging that being cut off from that became quite noticeable. In fact, it was the return of the text messages that made me reflect on communication styles and draft this post in the first place. (The return of the text messages made things feel "normal", like my communications network was complete again. It was the last incomplete piece.)
It's definitely the people with whom Facebook/LJ isn't our primary form of regular correspondence that I miss the most, and I didn't realize that until one of those other forms was restored. We are *so* *used* to being able to talk to anyone, anywhere, any time in this day and age. Thank you Internetz! We are so spoiled. But when that's taken away? Or isn't relevant? Then I feel the distance. Then I feel homesick.
Of course, all that being said, it's been a long semester and it'll be great to see people in person when we're home. But in the meantime, I am glad that we have a plethora of communication technologies and we each have our own preferred methods.
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