In between

There’s that weird headspace when we no longer have a home, but haven’t actually hit the road yet, either. Still living one life for another day, but mentally 800 miles away, worrying about getting new car insurance and finding a job and hoping I don’t need any of the yarn that’s now on the moving truck…

Last night (after napping and staring into space for a couple of hours) we ran into Brookline Booksmith to cash in some accumulated gift cards. (I did say there was some room left in the car, right?...) I’d stopped in Pandemonium last week one last time, as well. Rituals. Places that I frequent and will miss. Buying books. Again – ritual. The familiar, while I can.

Today was my last day of work. With the truck scheduled for this week, last week would have been my last week in the office, but I’d instigated a bridal shower for a coworker and wanted to be there. So today was that odd mix of getting usual tasks done, trying to tie up as many loose ends as possible, feeling like nothing’s changed, and then saying goodbye to everyone.

Julia got me a lovely goodbye cake :) (She knows I like chocolate and don’t like Rosie’s.) And wow, everyone was generous with the going-away gift cards to help me get settled in the new place.

I’ve gotten to work with some truly wonderful people here over the past 5 years. After preparing to leave for 6 months, it suddenly doesn’t feel like enough time to say goodbye.

After rushing out the door (it’s so *hard* to leave the office when people keep stopping to say goodbye), I swung by the farmer’s market to get some final fixins for dinner. Neecy and Neffie are coming over to Arthur’s parents’ house (where we’re spending the night).

Neffie is the old pro, having been there a couple of times before. So he gets to show Mama and Neecy around. Starting with the piano :) (On his previous visit, he discovered the pedals. Uh-oh!)

Last week when he was here, the tomatoes were all still unripe. But tonight he gets to pick the first red tomato of the season! And chop it up for the salad.

I also got the kids to model the sweaters I’d knit, so I could take photos.

We had a great time. Aunt Becky’s house has a piano, a splashing pool, and a train set, after all. That’s pretty cool.

Bittersweet, of course. I tried to explain again to Neffie that we are moving far away. He wrinkles his brow and looks unhappy, because he doesn’t quite know what it means. I’m sad the whole time, because while I’m enjoying spending time with him, I know I won’t see him for a long time and that he doesn’t grasp that yet. But *I* understand it, and I'm hiding tears from him.


I think I need to get a bit drunk. This has been a bizarre day.